If Your Married

Married And Dating-    I have a lot to say on this subject, but for now, I'm going to say this..

Dating a married man/woman is no longer acceptable.  I'ts classless, cheesy, tasteless, and has or holds no sex appeal.. those days are over.  Or, they should be.and it shows the lack of character in the married party.  When you do this, what is happening is this.. you, the single party in this threesome, you are being brought into the marriage bed without the conscent of the other uninformed partner.  It's a type of underhanded and ugly way to take you out of your single opportunities for happiness and making you a part of the married man or women's unhappiness.  And, one of the parties involved is clueless and it's meant to be that way-  it's deception.  

 When one is not man/woman enough to confront an unhappy situation... they aren't man/woman enough to be with you.  I seriously disagree with Cory about asking her if she's happy.. and there's a reason for it..  as a matter of fact, I don't agree with this video a lot.. I posted it not to critique Cory, but to show you there are two different view points...

When a man or woman has been married for more than two years, they have developed some learned behaviours and coping skills that are particular to that marriage.. and in those behaviours, not knowing the spouse of the one you are cheating with, your now powerless and clueless when something goes wrong.  Now your in the dark about how to handle your situation.. because there are three in this package deal.. and the only one knowing all of the moves is the cheating spouse him/herself.. wow, what a deal!  

Letter To Married Women With Children

I say this from the bottom of my heart.  It's not to be taken as anything but what is is meant to be, so please hear me out.  When you and your husband first fell in love, the thought of having babies and a family was most likely there.. great, I love it too.  But, as time moves on, and the babies come, women/wives tend to move into that motherhood maternal role so much so sometimes, they forget they are also lovers. . . this is a real problem for your husband.  Yes, he's a good dad, yes he loves his children too, but, ladies.. he's only a man.  His lover status as your husband doesn't stop and take a recess from the passion he once had with you just because he's now daddy.. 

Somehow, not making excueses for any cheating, but somehow, I can't help but wonder what a man is supposed to do with himself if his wife isn't there for him as his lover any longer.. he doesn't want a mommy figure, he wants a wife.. 

This is the point where even I, as a woman, become very mistrustful of what I see in so many marriages.  Women stop wanting all of those beautiful womanly things from her man, and her man stands there alone on this dance floor called married until death do we part, trying to figure out what he's supposed to do now. He's basically living a single life, while married to this gorgeous lady that no longer shows any desire for their love affair.. 

In some cases, I see or think I see 'The Change of Life" occuring, and sexual drive just isn't around.. I know that happens, but ladies, once again.. you have to talk to him- your husband and work this out.  He's in a very difficult if not impossible situation in these cases. 

Your husband loves you, he wants to be with you, he cherishes you, but he also needs your lover qualities.. he needs them, ladies.  He needs you to be there for him not just as a house keeper, mother, cook, and so on.. your not his hired servant.  Your his wife!  If you have a career, great!  But, honestly, your first job is your man.. and his pleasure needs as a man have to be met.. they have to be addressed.. 

Can you find it in your heart to check in with him on this subject.  Please.  Take off the tennis shoes, take off the mother role for now and then and regain your confidence in his bedroom... he'll love you even more for it, I promise you..

From Mother to Lover.. to mother.. to lover is your role as his wife.. 

Here you are, a single, vibrant- ravishing single lady.  Your desirable and your desirable to a lot of men.  A lot of single men.  In walks a married man, he is unsatisfied in his marriage bed life.. for what ever reason.  So, his plan of attack is to try for you.. and for what ever reason, your going for it.. Ladies, stop right there!  

If he is unhappy in his marital bed relationship with his wife, he needs to turn around and face her, not you- and work it out with her.  He needs to confront her.  He needs to find out what their solution is.. if he cannot do this or will not do this.. he's undesirable in all ways, and baby, run.  I mean run.  

You've got everything going for you.. you can have dates that you potentially can bond on several levels with.  You can find love because by definition, your an attraction magnet.. You are developing your skills, you are becoming the real woman that lays deep inside of you, and this cheating married man wants to take all of that away from you just because he has not and will not deal with his own situation.. (instead of him dealing with his own situation, he creates a new situation that cannot work.. can never work.)  

So, make sense of it now.. if this man cannont and will not do anything about his personal situation with his wife, why would he even try to be anything to you when you need more?  How would he ever be more to you when he isn't more to the lady he married?  Ladies, look at this and look at it deep.   Do not allow him to STEAL your womanhood.. 

One of the worst things for a single woman or man is to date a married person.. it's the worst.  That trap soon catches up and when it does, it's springs like a steel trap and it hurts.. deeply. 

I'm a woman, so I'm going to generate this from a woman's experience.  But, I'm sure there are men out there who have stories to tell.. lots of them.  

For a woman, her womanhood begins to be stolen when she is involved with a married man.  For one thing, all of those hidden agenda's are present and active in this sort of relationship.  The masked man comes to her door, and his hidden inhibitions, all of those things he has failed to bring to light with his wife, come crawling out of the woodwork..  and they crawl right into bed with his mistress.. 

She, lucky her, gets to find her solice in the time he can give her at his own discretion.  He learns he can throw her bones; dead bones at that, and she'll happily wait for them even though there's no meat on them.   Don't worry, his wife has dead bones too, most likely.. maybe she'll get what meat is there, but mostly, they are dead bones now..  his only lover is his secret.  His secrets that lay burried underground in his mind to bring to surface when life isn't in the way.. 

The mistress happily waits for a weekend when the wife goes out of town, she misses all of the holidays, she can't pick up the phone on the spur of the moment and say she loves him..  he doesn't honestly say he loves anyone.. not honestly; because the only one he loves is that mask.. 

Listen to this song..  Saving All My Love.  This isn't a miracle, this is deception; it's misery.  Willingness to be or become a mistress is the worst help/aid to keeping a married man submerged in his delusions of love for which no one really wants.. 

To be in this sort of situation, is a delusion.  It's one that will never be real.. not today, not tomorrow, not ever.  The only reality and hope there is, is for this man to come to his senses, and confront his situation face-to-face, starting with his marriage.. In that, confrontation with reality.. there is hope.. not before.  

The man and his mistress, a hopeless deception of love

I Will Always Love You... A beautifu song.  Really Beautiful; with one exception...  the first line.   I'll only be in the way!  What is that?  What does that mean exactly?  

Does it mean she's involved with a man who really didn't want her in the first place; had no time for her?  What does it mean exactly..??

Personally, I can't imagine having to sing this song to a man.. it would mean a type of despair for me.  He gets to walk away; and she gets the bitter sweet memory..   another type of hidden inprisonment for me.  This is me speaking, you may not agree.. but I think if you thought about it; you might. 

Finding Hope Again...

The Pina Colada Songs sounds better to me.. at least the man is reaching out.  He's realizing he has a problem and he's striving to achieve a type of freedom.. 

Ultimately, confronting a situation for which holds no mercy..  is mercy... admitidly, an affair isn't the answer; however thinking about the realistic desires of the human spirit and soul is a good thing.  It's the best.  That's why, for me, being single holds all of the possibility of real love and relationship in that love.  Being single allows me to explore all of my options and reach out for real live love that holds the doors open to change, communication, and development in that love relationship.. not outside of that love relationship.